


Black and White

by wartransmission



Category: X-Men: First Class - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-14
Updated: 2011-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-22 14:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/239262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You understand what I mean, Charles.” He moves his last remaining pawn forward, knowing very well under Charles’ gaze that it will be taken away from him soon enough. “I’m not pure. I’ve killed people. Many of them. There is no regret.” He breathes in slowly. “I’m not completely evil, but I have the capability to become so. You know that as well as me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black and White

_“I don’t suppose you ever realized that I’m not as immortal as you think I am, my friend.”_

Erik feels it, feels the _wantneedlovetrust_ seeping into his mind when Charles holds him close. It’s dark, he can’t sleep with the lights on too much, and he wants it like this. He can’t see Charles, nor can Charles see his tear-stained face when he presses close to him. He feels him breathing, feels the heartbeat in Charles’ chest when he presses his face closer to the cloth of his pajama top. It’s comforting, and it’s getting him drowsy, and it doesn’t help at all when Charles murmurs a soft, “Rest, Erik. It’s alright. I’ve got you.” And he trusts Charles, he knows himself that nothing will ever be alright because they’re _different_ and the humans can’t accept that, but he’ll believe Charles for now because he’s there and he needs him.

 _“Killing Shaw will not bring you peace.”_

 _“Peace was never an option.”_

“Erik, my friend, as much as I trust you not to drop me and how you are quite capable of controlling your powers, I don’t think this height agrees with me quite as much.”

Erik quirks an eyebrow in turn, an amused smile on his face. “Scared, Charles? I never figured you to be the acrophobic type.”

“Oh no, of course not, I’m not usually afraid of heights,” Charles says with an furrow of his eyebrows, his hands holding on tightly to the sides of his chair, “but under normal circumstances, I am in a stable machine that does not have a likely chance of falling or shoving me off.”

Erik grins, it’s much too amusing to stop, but he favors Charles’ pleading instead of his own entertainment. His hands slowly fall back to his sides as he sets Charles down, the man wearing a relieved look on his face when he gets his feet on the ground. “Thank you. I trust you’ve had enough fun for today?”

“Oh no, Charles. Definitely not.” Erik says with a wicked grin, the metals inside the room [including the chair Charles was previous sitting on] vibrating with power, “There’s only so much fun a man can enjoy in a day, don’t you think?”

Charles covers his face with his hand. “Oh dear.”

 _“What an adorable lab rat you make, Charles.”_

 _“Don’t spoil this for me, Erik.”_

“No- I can’t. I can’t, Charles.”

Charles’ determined expression fades into something more hurt, crestfallen, and Erik can’t ignore it when he feels the twinge in his chest. He doesn’t want this. “Why not, Erik? Why can’t you accept that it’s possible for someone to love you even after all you’ve been through? My friend, you’re no more flawed than I am.”

“That’s not true,” Erik says with an equally pained frown, “I know you have flaws, everyone does, but you’re not like me, Charles. You were never like me. I don’t have to read your mind to know that you don’t have it in you to kill a man. I’ve killed many already, and I don’t regret it. That’s not what you are.”

“You-” Charles runs a hand through his hair in frustration and _growls._ “You are an infuriatingly stubborn man, Erik Lehnsherr.”

“No more than you, Charles.” Erik grins crookedly. He moves a step away again, letting Charles’ hand on his cheek fall back until he can feel just how cool it is without the warmth from another’s skin. “Trust in me this time. We’re brothers, comrades, but we can’t be anything more. I can’t be sorry for doing what I know is right.”

“You haven’t even tried,” Charles says. “You haven’t given it a chance. We’re already losing time as it is, we don’t know for sure if we’ll last with the impending danger of a nuclear war, and I don’t want to regret anything. I don’t want to regret not telling you. But you won’t even try.” He breathes in, closing his eyes momentarily before opening them again to look directly into Erik’s own. “I know you’ve been through a lot, my friend. Your pain is different from mine. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve me. I’m not pure, Erik. I’m not a fragile doll that will break with one touch. I don’t deserve you either; I don’t deserve your loyalty and your strength, because you’re so much more than I will ever be. You’ve seen things that I haven’t; but it doesn’t make me want you any less. We’re both imperfect, you and I, but it doesn’t change how much we need each other.”

Erik laughs; a bitter kind of laugh that sends shivers up Charles’ spine. “You deserve so much more than you think you do, Charles. I’ll never be good enough to deserve you, to deserve what you are. Your friendship is already more than enough, and I don’t want to take advantage of that.” _I’ve hurt people without even meaning to. I don’t want that to happen to you, Charles._

Charles smiles sadly, shaking his head. “I hope something will change your mind into thinking otherwise, my friend.”

 _“There's so much more to you than you know. Not just pain and anger. There's good to you, I felt it.”_

“ _Oh,_ ” Charles groans as Erik presses his palms into his back, rubbing him and pushing just so that it makes Charles feel just a little bit sleepy. Erik grins, moving a tad to get as comfortable as he can while sitting on Charles’ ass. “Oh, Erik, you have magical hands. Where’d you learn how to do that?”

“Here and there,” Erik says. Charles would roll his eyes at the vagueness of it, but he’s far too gone to care. “Go ahead and sleep, Charles. I’m not going to stop.”

“I wish you’d never stop,” Charles murmurs into his folded arms. Erik grins again. Charles doesn’t have to look to know that Erik heard him, the smug bloke. “Oh shut up, Erik. I can hear your thoughts from here too.”

 _I just hope you realize how obscene you sound right now,_ Erik thinks back and Charles flushes down to his neck. Erik is intrigued and amused at the physical reaction but doesn’t stop his massaging. “Your ears are red,” he says.

“I know that.” Charles groans, burying his face deeper into his arms. Erik chuckles. “Will you please stop making fun of me and keep doing that wonderful thing with your hands?”

“So demanding.” Erik hums; sliding his hands down Charles’ back and pushing back up again after a while of pressing into skin and muscle underneath. Charles’ sighs turn into moans soon enough as Erik presses down to untangle the mess of taut muscles on his upper back. “Are you all right?”

“Completely all right,” Charles murmurs softly, close to slumber, and Erik smiles. “Don’t stop.”

“Never.” Erik says.

 _“Honestly Charles, I don’t know how you survived, living in such hardship.”_

“You’re not reading my mind, are you?” Erik asks as he moves his rook across the checkered board. Charles quirks an eyebrow at the question, an amused smile on his face as he moves bishop across to take one of Erik’s pawns.

“I promised not to read your mind unless you’ve permitted me, my friend.” Charles says.                                                  

“Promises can be broken.” Erik says. He grins either way, letting Charles know that he’s not actually accusing him of anything. He moves his rook across once again to eat another one of Charles’ pawns.

“True. But I don’t intend to break this one.” Charles says. He moves his knight a few steps to the left.

“Hm.” Erik watches the checkered board with some intensity, eyes darting left and right for some sort of checkmate. He moves his bishop across. “Have you ever wondered why chess pieces are black and white and not some other colors?”

Charles quirks an eyebrow, thrown off at the change in topic. He doesn’t miss his turn and moves his rook a few steps forward nonetheless. “I never took you to be the type to ask such trivial questions, Erik.”

Erik, with his head bowed down, looks up slowly with a gleam in his eyes. “It seems you don’t know everything about me, then. But honestly, why do you think that’s so? Black and white. Two shades completely apart from each other, usually used to represent opposite sides of many things; beliefs, games and whatnot. Like chess.”

“Your mind takes intriguing turns every second, my friend.” He smiles with excitement as he usually does when playing chess opposite Erik. Erik moves another one of his remaining pawns forward. “I suppose it’s to show a precise difference. It’s a way to show how things are opposing one another; like chess, as you’ve said.”

“As well as good and evil?” Erik asks. Charles tenses a bit as he moves his pawn to take one of Erik’s own.

“I…suppose.” He says carefully. Erik isn’t smiling anymore when he uses his other pawn to take Charles’. “After all, black and white are the colors that offer the highest possible contrast. Extreme opposites, as we’d call them.”

“Symbolizing life and death, darkness and light.” Erik says. He watches quietly for a moment as Charles moves his knight once more to the left. “But they are similar in their own ways, aren’t they? Black symbolizing darkness, and white symbolizing light. They’re both nothingness, a representation of both life and death.”

“Yes.” Charles says. His eyes dart from the checkered board to Erik’s face, though Erik projects nothing more on his face than concentration. “They are extreme opposites, but quite capable of having their similarities. Nothing in the world is truly solitary.”

“Like us?” Erik says. He moves his bishop closer, dangerously close to Charles’ king but not enough to be called a checkmate. Charles releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding when Erik looks up at him.

“I don’t think I understand the comparison, my friend. I’ve already told you this before, that you’re not lost to us. You’re not evil.” Charles says. Erik quirks an eyebrow at him as he moves rook forward. “You’re not in the darkness.”

“You understand what I mean, Charles.” He moves his last remaining pawn forward, knowing very well under Charles’ gaze that it will be taken away from him soon enough. “I’m not pure. I’ve killed people. Many of them. There is no regret.” He breathes in slowly. “I’m not completely evil, but I have the capability to become so. You know that as well as me.”

“As long as you’re here, as long as you’re with us, I’m not letting you go.” Charles doesn’t know just what it is anymore that he’s meaning to say when he lets the words fill the silence of the room. “You’re not going to become evil for as long as I can help it, Erik.” He says as he moves his rook sideward with a firm grip, taking Erik’s pawn for his own.

 _You won’t be able to stop me when the time comes either way,_ Erik thinks. Charles winces but doesn’t say anything in response; he only watches Erik as he moves his bishop to the side once more.

“But,” Erik starts off as he watches Charles observing the checkered board, “I don’t think I’d mind. If you were my opposite.” Charles looks up but doesn’t say a word, knowing well enough that Erik isn’t finished speaking yet. “You’d be my only equal then, wouldn’t you? Brethren who are lost to each other, but capable of understanding one another. They share a bond, a strong one that will be tested constantly, but it won’t break.” He smiles, though it’s not as bitter as Charles would usually think it is. “Even if they eventually end up on opposite sides, fighting one another, it would still remain.”

“I’d rather that not happen between us, Erik. I treasure your friendship,” _I treasure you, “_ and I don’t wish for either of us to hurt each other. It would be pointless. Nothing would come of it. _”_ He sighs eventually when he notices the gap, moving his other bishop across until, “Check, Erik.”

“I’m afraid you’re wrong on that one, Charles.” He grins a shark-like grin as he moves his queen to take Charles’ king. “Checkmate.”

 _“You’re not alone.”_

 


End file.
